What Is Shadow Work?
by Katie Simons, PharmD, BCPS
We all have parts of ourselves we’d rather not see—the petty, judgy thought we swallow, the flash of anger we pretend isn’t there, the quiet ways we sabotage our own joy, the shame we still carry over a moment long past. Most of us shove these pieces into a mental basement, lock the door, and hope they don’t make too much noise.
I like to think of my shadow parts like Peter Pan’s runaway shadow. Peter Pan’s shadow is mischievous and independent, slipping away from him and darting around Wendy’s room. Peter struggles to catch it until Wendy sews it back on, restoring him to “wholeness.” Our shadows are always with us, whether we like it or not. We can try to ignore it, pretend it’s not there, or chase it away, but that doesn’t mean it stops influencing us. Left unaddressed, it can sneak out and act in ways we don’t expect—pulling at us, tripping us up, or dragging us down. But when we turn on the light, see it clearly, and work with it, we can stitch it back to ourselves—restoring wholeness and allowing all parts of us to move together.
Shadow work is this process: shining light on what we’ve hidden away and avoided in the basements of ourselves—not to judge or shame what we find, but to understand it. It’s not about “fixing” yourself or forcing endless positivity. It’s about meeting the parts you’ve tucked out of sight, learning why they’re there, and integrating them so you can live from your whole, authentic self.
Where the Shadow Comes From
The shadow doesn’t appear out of nowhere—it’s formed over a lifetime. The term “shadow” in this sense comes from the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who described it as the unconscious aspects of personality that the conscious ego does not identify with. These parts often include traits, impulses, and emotions that were deemed unacceptable or unsafe during our development, leading us to repress them. Over time, they are pushed into the unconscious, where they still influence our thoughts, emotions, and choices from behind the scenes.
Often, the shadow begins forming in childhood, when we quickly learn which emotions, behaviors, and traits are rewarded and which ones get us scolded, criticized, rejected, or shamed. We instinctively hide the parts that feel unsafe to express, tucking them away to protect our belonging. This can be as simple as swallowing anger because “good kids don’t yell,” or as deep as suppressing creativity because it clashed with family or cultural values.
Trauma, cultural norms, religion, and societal expectations all add layers to the shadow. Renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté often explains that during our developmental years, we are frequently forced to choose attachment over authenticity. As children, our survival depends on maintaining bonds with our caregivers. To preserve those bonds, we instinctively adapt—becoming who we think we need to be—often at the cost of expressing our true selves. In doing so, parts of our authenticity are pushed into hiding—the exiled parts become our shadows. We are shaped by the stories we’re told about who we “should” be and what’s acceptable, and anything that doesn’t fit that mold often gets buried.
Understanding where the shadow comes from is key to working with it. Shadow work, then, is the intentional practice of recognizing, understanding, and integrating these disowned parts so they can serve us rather than sabotage us. It’s not about “fixing” yourself or forcing endless positivity—it’s about meeting the parts you’ve tucked out of sight, learning why they’re there, and bringing them back into alignment so you can live from your whole, authentic self.
Why Shadow Work Matters
When we leave our shadow unexplored, it doesn’t stay quiet—it seeps into our daily lives. We see it in the knee-jerk reactions we can’t explain, the patterns we repeat despite knowing better, the people who trigger us out of proportion to the situation, and the moments we sabotage our own success and happiness. The shadow operates like a hidden script, shaping our behavior without our consent.
Unexamined shadows can damage relationships, drain our energy, and keep us locked in cycles of fear, shame, or self-doubt. They can cloud our ability to see reality clearly, causing us to project our disowned traits onto others, or to misinterpret situations through the lens of old wounds. Left unchecked, the shadow not only limits our growth—it quietly dictates our lives.
Engaging in shadow work interrupts this cycle. By bringing awareness to what’s been hidden, we create choice where there was only reactivity. We develop emotional regulation, deepen our compassion for ourselves and others, and reclaim the energy it takes to keep parts of ourselves locked away. Ultimately, shadow work frees us to live more authentically, build healthier connections, and step into our full creative and spiritual potential.
What Shadow Work Looks Like
Shadow work can take many forms, and no single approach fits everyone. At its core, it’s about creating a safe space—internally or with a trusted guide—where you can meet the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding. This might include:
Journaling – Writing about your triggers, recurring patterns, or difficult emotions to uncover what lies beneath them. Triggers are your best guide into the shadows. Don't waste them!
Somatic experiencing – Noticing where emotions and memories live in your body, and using breathwork, movement, or grounding practices to connect with them and express what the body wants to express through movement, shaking, tapping, crying, laughing, or other forms of somatic expression.
Addressing limiting beliefs – Identifying and challenging the subconscious stories that keep you small, stuck, or in repeated patterns. This can look like following a superficial thought patterns like "I'm not good at relationships" back by asking, "What if that's true?" or "That means..." By tracing each thought deeper into your beliefs, you can land on the limiting belief that is holding you back and work to reframe it or find its origin.
Inner child work – Revisiting early experiences with compassion, giving younger parts of yourself the care and validation they needed. This work can include reparenting techniques as well as rewriting memories to increase internal safety and acceptance of your inner child self.
Mindfulness and meditation – Observing thoughts and emotions without judgment to build awareness of shadow patterns in real time. Staying curious and aware - "I just noticed that thought was not very nice towards myself. I wonder where that comes from inside me?"
Therapeutic modalities – Working with a coach, therapist, or facilitator trained in approaches like parts work, Internal Family Systems, hypnotherapy, or EMDR/bilateral stimulation.
The process isn’t about dredging up every painful memory or staying stuck in the past. It’s about gently bringing the unseen into the light, allowing you to understand it, integrate it, and move forward with more freedom and self-trust.
Common Myths About Shadow Work
Like many deep healing practices, shadow work is surrounded by misconceptions that can make it seem intimidating or even off-limits. Some of the most common myths include:
Myth 1: Shadow work is only about pain and darkness. While it involves looking at parts of yourself you’ve avoided, shadow work often uncovers hidden strengths, creativity, resilience, and self-compassion. Your shadow isn’t just where you’ve buried pain—it’s also where you’ve buried power.
Myth 2: You have to relive your trauma in detail. Shadow work is not about re-traumatizing yourself. It’s about meeting what’s been hidden at a pace and depth that feels safe, often using gentle, resourced approaches.
Myth 3: Shadow work means you’re broken and need fixing. The goal isn’t to erase or “fix” parts of you—it’s to integrate them, so you can live from a place of wholeness and authenticity.
Myth 4: You can only do shadow work with a professional. While skilled guidance can be invaluable, there are many self-led practices that allow you to explore your shadow safely. The key is to respect your limits and get support when needed.
Myth 5: Once you’ve done shadow work, you’re done forever. Shadow work is an ongoing relationship with yourself. As you grow and life changes, new layers may emerge for you to meet with curiosity and compassion.
By busting these myths, we can approach shadow work with more clarity, openness, and a willingness to see it as a lifelong practice of becoming whole.
The Benefits of Shadow Work & Closing Thoughts
When you commit to shadow work, you begin to reclaim the parts of yourself you once exiled. This integration brings:
Greater self-awareness – You recognize patterns and triggers as they happen, reducing reactivity and increasing choice.
Emotional freedom – By meeting your shadow with compassion, you release the shame and fear that once kept you small.
Healthier relationships – You project less, communicate more clearly, and connect from a place of authenticity.
Increased energy and creativity – No longer draining yourself to suppress parts of your being, you free up energy for creation, joy, and purposeful living.
Resilience and self-trust – You learn that you can face what’s within you without losing yourself, building deep trust in your own capacity.
Shadow work isn’t a quick fix or a box to check—it’s a lifelong dialogue with yourself. Some days it’s tender, other days it’s fierce, but it’s always an act of love. The more you bring your shadow into the light, the more fully you inhabit your whole self—authentic, sovereign, and free.
If shadow work is something you are interested in exploring along with reclaiming your self-sovereignty, book a Strategy Call with me. I’d love to support your path.
